Rear Window Ethics Rear Window Ethics: SAT

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

SAT

My friend Vanessa has been living a similar life to mine over the past year: working on her own business, Osorio Designs, creating and selling clothing of her own making. To supplement her income from Osorio she has been teaching SAT prep courses for The Princeton Review, and she recommended that I investigate doing the same.

So, I don't want to tell people what I got on my SATs when I was applying to college. People don't like to talk about that kind of thing. Let's just say it rhymes with "zourteen-blenty." While I certainly realized that a great amount of time had passed since I last thought about SAT questions, I figured that I would do alright on an online practice test.

Nope.

I've never been good at math. I managed to get by in math when I was taking it every year in high school, but thanks to the freedom offered by liberal arts study, I felt very free to take as little as possible of it at Tufts. The results of my academic choices were starkly clear. As soon as I got past the good old analogies and vocabulary sections I literally felt my brain say, "Alright boys, let's pack it in because we sure as shit can't let him read and work on this stuff."

I could feel my brain spin down like a hard drive being turned off. (I'm a fucking nerd). I'm pretty sure that for about five minutes I was just staring at the screen of my computer, not reading, not thinking, barely even breathing. Luckily, my dog managed to hump my leg for a minute or two until I regained consciousness--sort of like an overly horny St. Bernard rescue.

Hello, my name is Travis, and I'm a mathophobe.