Rear Window Ethics Rear Window Ethics: Driveways and Discord

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Driveways and Discord

I think I may have inadvertently begun a feud of Hatfield/McCoy proportions with our neighbors this week.

Nish and I, essentially having two apartments in the month of August, are moving in night by night to our new place in the North End. The idea behind this came about because the 36 hour move-athons I've been part of in the last three years were pretty much in the top five of the worst days of my life. We figured that if we just do a little bit each night, late so the roads aren't busy, we can do it without too much pain.

The other night I was trying to find a place to put my car in front of our house so we could load it up. There were no spots on the street, so I decided I should quickly park in the driveway next to us. We're pretty sure the house to our right is some sort of parent-less, juvenile halfway house or some shit like that. Our neighbors have been complete assholes about us "borrowing their concrete" for a few minutes to do stuff, but I figured it was worth a shot.

When I got back down to my car, about five minutes later, there was a car on the street blocking me in the driveway. I figured it belonged to someone across the street, so I honked my horn twice in a span of ten minutes. Finally, out of the house next to us, came this disgruntled kid and his girlfriend, screaming about this and that.

"You pahk in my fuckin' driveway!? And then you honk your horn?!"
"I'm really sorry," I replied. "I didn't know this was your car."
"Of course it's my cah. It's my fuckin' driveway!"

The above exchange repeated itself a few times until I gave up on apologizing, and jumped in my car.

Tonight, not wanting to piss off the dickheads next door by using their driveway, I double parked on the street in front of my house for five minutes. This is a terrible pain, because each time a car comes down the street I have to take my car around the block and back so they can get through. I did this twice in about five minutes, but somehow as I ran back upstairs to grab the keys to the new apartment I hear someone laying on their horn outside.

Sure enough as I run outside, it's the jackass and his skanky girlfriend, flashing their brights and honking loud enough to annoy everyone on the entire street. I didn't have it in my heart to try to remedy the situation, so I just shot the guy a pissy look and drove off.

I really wish I had done something worse, but then again I've been working with kids for nine hours a day over the past five weeks, so my expletive vocabulary is seriously out of shape. If I could have had that moment back, I definitely would have used my favorite curse word. Yes. The C Bomb. Maybe next time.