Rear Window Ethics Rear Window Ethics: Goodbye, Somerville

Sunday, August 29, 2004

Goodbye, Somerville

So long, farewell, adieu to yieu and yieu and yieu.

It's been a while since I wrote anything here, mainly because the time spent since my last post can best be described in a few words.

moving
shopping
sweating

As of right now, I have just my computer station, some random items rolling around on the floor, and my bed to take over. By tonight I will no longer live in Somerville. I think it's only appropriate for a "Somerville memories montage" to appear here with sappy music and slow-motion pictures, but I don't really have the will to break out my camera to tape our house falling apart, people discharging firearms down the street, sketchy middle-aged men in wife beaters hanging outside 7-11, or any other of the classic moments from my time in this fair city.

On a completely separate note, I have a funny story to tell here. The names of those involved will not be used, because I haven't asked them if I can write this. It's actually not even someone I know that well, but it is a pretty great story. Here it goes:

There was this girl who had been together with this guy for a few months. The guy was kind of a slob, and the girl didn't really know where the relationship was going. The guy desperately wanted the girl to sleep with him--feeling that enough time had passed since they had started dating--so he decided to create a grand romantic gesture that would inevitably end with the girl throwing herself into his arms and onto his bed.

The girl, knowing well the guy's intentions, had none herself of sleeping with him. She did like spending time with him, however, so when he called her to come over to his apartment she showed up at the appointed time.

When she arrived, she found a note on the door telling her to come in and "follow her nose". She opened the door and immediately noticed the trail of rose petals leading down the hallway and up the stairs. She followed the petals as they lined the stairs leading up to the guy's room. She opened the door to find his room smelling of flowers, illuminated only by candle light, and the sound of sexy music pulsing from the stereo in the corner.

When her eyes had adjusted to the light, she saw the guy standing, wearing a nice coat and tie, holding a champagne flute filled with tiny little bubbles. He smiled to her. She smiled back.

This is when things got amazing. Directly next do the guy, was his bed, although you might not even call it a real bed. It was just a mattress with no cover, no sheets, no pillows or any other kind of standard bedding atop it. Just a bare mattress.

Oops.

Needless to say, the guy's plans did not go as expected. The two did not stay together long after that.