Rear Window Ethics Rear Window Ethics: Major Signs That I'm Tired Of Teaching This Summer

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Major Signs That I'm Tired Of Teaching This Summer

5. I openly discuss how much I hate certain children with my co-workers.
4. Sometimes, in private, I refer to the children I teach as "little bastards."
3. If a child I don't care for is talking to me, and another one that I love comes up, I will pretty much just start listening to the child I like.
2. I've started daring kids to do things I shouldn't dare them to do.
a. Example: "Hey, Joe. I dare you to like that greasy spot on the window." Etc.
1. I've begun lying to the children.
a. An example:

Yesterday I was having a hard time controlling my class because one kid refused to do what I asked everyone to do. I told him that I would take away some of his swimming time if he didn't listen to me. He responded by telling me that he didn't care if I took away his pool time, and that he hates swimming.

This is when I departed from the shallow waters of sanity and dove, head first, into the deep end of preposterousness. The class around me was still restless because this one child insisted on making a scene in the middle of the room. It was the last class of the day, my classroom was hot and humid, smelled like kid BO, and was about to lose it. In reality, swim time is the only viable penalty available to me, but as you are about to see, I was rapidly departing reality.

"If you hate swimming, then maybe I should make you go into the pool if you don't listen to me."

When the child started telling me that I couldn't make him go swimming, I decided to delve into the specifics of what his In Loco Parentis form allows me to do. Now, anyone over the age of 12 knows that an In Loco Parentis form does in no way give authority to get rid of your own frustration and anger by threatening to force a child to go swimming. Luckily, this kid was only 8. I was able to convince him to sit down and be quiet with the rest of his classmates by lying to him openly.

There you have it. My last day is Friday. I'm really not a bad teacher, but for some reason I think I'm at the end of my rope right now. In fact, my break time is ending in less than five minutes, and I have to go back out there and face the music--literally. (I teach music).