The Pats just pulled a win out of their collective buttocks. I think I'm going to start a petition to change the plural form of 'buttock' to 'buttox' instead of the 'correct' spelling above. How many words are pluralists by an 'x'? Let 'x' have a chance. Okay, I won't use a 'quote' for the rest of this post now.
I talked earlier this week about the age disparity of the North End, and how it is inhabited by 20-somethings and 70-somethings. The problem is, however, that during the day all the young people are at work, so the area is about 95% comprised of the elderly and middle-aged tourists. Those two groups of people, it turns out, walk slower than any other in the world. Including toddlers.
I'm hustling and bustling down the main street here to the post office with my huge umbrella shielding the large boxes of videos I hold under each arm from the rain, and everyone else on the street is walking, stopping, reading their AAA guides and wondering aloud whether a certain pub served Paul Revere or not.
Sometimes these two groups, tourists and the elderly, become one in some unholy combination of age and historical curiosity and the shit hits the fan. They walk twice as slow as normal tourists and ask four times as many questions.
Disclaimer: I, Travis Marshall, have nothing but the utmost respect for the elderly of our society and indeed the world. Their sacrifices long before I was born allow me to live the life I currently enjoy, and we all owe them a debt larger than can ever be paid.
But they're still freaking annoying.