Rear Window Ethics Rear Window Ethics: Church? What happened to you?

Monday, October 04, 2004

Church? What happened to you?

Yesterday Joc and I were walking around downtown, ambling around the Christian Science mall on a beautiful day and walking into a shopping mall as one is prone to do at times. First off, I would like to say that as someone who does not often frequent malls, I was surprised and a little scared by the fact that the Prudential Mall and Copley Place, two malls that are several blocks apart in the city, actually connect to each other with some sort of horrifying umbilical tunnel of commerce.

More disturbing, however, was the fact that apparently there is a chapel in one of malls (I don't know which because they confused me with their incestuous web of connections until I didn't know where I was anymore). There was a chapel, and a packed Mass or service or whatever you want to call it being held while we were there. In a mall.

Jocelyn's natural reaction of course was, "If my church were in a mall, I would go every Sunday!"

How does this work? Is the church affiliated with the mall? Is it the First Commercial Church, where instead of communion wafers you eat Necco wafers from one of those bulk CandyConnection stores? Where with each dollar you put in the collection plate you receive 1% off any purchase from the Cinnebon next door where the congregation gathers for fellowship and Bible/Sale Circular study following the service?

On a similar note, after we walked back to the North End, we could hear bells from the Old North church pealing over our heads and through the streets of my quaint neighborhood. As we got closer to the historical landmark, we noticed there was an abnormally large amount of animals outside its doors. When I say abnormally for a church, you probably think maybe one or two. No, like 40 different pets and their owners were outside taking pictures and shit.

Apparently there had been some sort of Pet Blessing service an hour earlier, where people brought their pets to be blessed and lined up as if to take communion, only to have their pets' heads touched individually by the minister. What the hell is that!?

My real question: Are they cool with snakes considering the Biblical implications and all? I'm betting no one brought a snake to be blessed at the service, because snake-owners are weird and creepy. But what would happen if someone did? Now there's food for thought.