Christmas on the Radio
Yesterday, Thanksgiving, marked the first day of year that the country decides as a whole to switch into Christmas mode. Lights are up on houses, plastic snowmen and reindeer suddenly appear on lawns, and of course some radio stations decide it best to switch over to their Christmas-only playlists. It's too early! Stop it! Please!
There's something that just kills me about radio stations taking a break from their "classic hits from yesterday and today" to bring us the same 20 Christmas songs, on loop, for an entire month. How many times can you honestly hear "Grandma Got Run-Over by a Reindeer" followed by some schmaltzy Perry Cuomo standard, which is then itself trumped by Kenny G performing "The Christmas Song".
(Sidenote: GRANDMA GOT RUN-OVER BY A REINDEER MUST DIE).
And these radio stations are generally crap to begin with, so they chose the bottom of the barrel Christmas music to play. What about the classics? Where's Judy Garland singing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" or Ella Fitzgerald swinging "Jingle Bells"? Even Manheim Steamroller was funny enough in its 80s synthesizer-heavy glory. But no, we have to hear Rosie O'Donnell sing a duet with Elmo, Yoko Ono and her children's choir bastardize John Lennon with "Happy Christmas", and Michael Bolton perform...well...anything.
I like Christmas. I'm not a Christmas junky, but I don't think I'm overly cynical about it either. I'm just ever so thankful that I have my trusty old iPod, because when 1/4 of your radio stations turn over to shit Christmas music for a month, it makes you want resort to self-immolation outside the DJ's window to try and stop the madness.