Rear Window Ethics Rear Window Ethics: Implements "Drunken Shopping" Prevention

Friday, January 28, 2005 Implements "Drunken Shopping" Prevention

I wish.

Those of you that know me are probably somewhat familiar with a little problem I had in college. You see, when people drink they often end up doing things they wouldn't necessarily do while sober. For some it entails throwing themselves at people they're attracted to, for others it means dancing like flailing felines during a stroke. As for myself, my own particular brand of drunken impulsiveness has always been late-night online shopping.

In my collegiate heyday I was known to have purchased such items as a garment steamer, dozens upon dozens of DVDs (including a five disc set on the history of NASA), plenty of video items for "work", and of course the infamous Can-Around. Since then I've been able to tone down my inebriated buying by simply cutting down on my alcohol consumption. If I stop the source, I stop the result. Last weekend, however, proved once again that you can take the booze out of the impulsive shopper, but you can't take the shopper out of the...booze...or whatever.

Not a month after "accidentally" buying the Super TV B Gone Remote in the wee hours of the holidays, I found myself snowed in during a blizzard, down a bottle or so of wine, and mysteriously slipping away from my companions in the other room to "research" hot sandwich makers.

Having left the computer with my Amazon shopping cart still open, I foolishly boasted to my company about my apparent will power in an area of such personal weakness. Upon opening my email Monday morning it became quite clear that such overconfidence was quite premature as I found a shipping notification for not only the sandwich maker, but for a new stainless steel pot as well. In retrospect, there was no way I could expect to come back before bed and NOT click the "complete order" button.

I simply must be stopped.