Banned Bud Light and Puritanical Superbowl XXXIX
By now you must know about this, but apparently after the uproar from the FCC and the Parents Television Council concerning last year's halftime show as well as this year's pre-game interracial skit starring Terrell Owens, Superbowl XXXIX is gearing up to be blander than a vat of imitation gruel.
In an era when you can't even trust a cartoon sponge to teach our children homophobia, it's good to know that someone is looking out for the well-being of families everywhere. In a game like football, which embodies true family values we cherish like violence, ogling women, gambling and commercialism, we cannot stand for the debauchery that was last year's halftime show.
Wait a minute. Football, violence, ogling women, gambling and commercials. That reads like my Christmas wish list back in December. And they're trying to take it out of my TV! Bastards!
This year several commercials have been banned from the air due to questionable content. One involved Mickey Rooney's naked 84-year-old ass, which I think was actually a good decision given the fact that I'll be eating food while watching the game. Another, however, was banned simply for making fun of last year's halftime show foul-up. That's right. We will NEVER talk of it again! We can never mention it or even joke about it! It was so outrageously indecent that we have some Orwellian thugs deleting its existence from history as you read this.
Try to remember! Try!
It's a very clever ad, very clean, with no nudity, swearing, flatulence or old men trying to get erections. Here it is: