Rear Window Ethics Rear Window Ethics: Red Sox Fan Beaten in New York

Friday, October 05, 2007

Red Sox Fan Beaten in New York

Boston Globe:
BOSTON --A Quincy man is nursing multiple facial fractures after a group of men who had earlier asked him if he was a Red Sox fan went on to attack him in New York.
Police in Yonkers say two men from Pennsylvania were arrested and charged with second-degree felony assault.
Wait a minute... two guys from Pennsylvania?! What the hell do they care about the Red Sox/Yankees rivalry? This seems fishy...
He was watching a Red Sox-Angels playoff game with colleagues at a bar when another patron asked them if they had pride in Boston.
That man was later joined by two other people who approached the construction workers from behind as they left the bar.
Police said they attacked Ortez after he parted ways with two colleagues. The assailants fled after the two returned to help him on witnessing the assault.
Hmm... still doesn't make any sense. The Yankees hadn't even played their game against Cleveland at that point. Wait a minute... I know what it is! Philly fans! The worst fans in sports! Think about the timeline:
  • 6:15pm - The Phillies lose to Colorado in Game 1 of their series.
  • 6:20pm - Notoriously angry Philly fans are pissed.
  • 6:30pm - Red Sox game starts, beginning a beautiful shutout by Beckett
  • 6:31pm - I'm enjoying the game at Fenway Park (just had to throw that in there. Going tonight too.)
  • ?:?? - Philly fans decide to take out their anger on nearest sports fan enjoying a team that is winning.
  • 10/4/07 - Newspapers immediately suspect NY/Boston rivalry as the source of the conflict, without using their brains to deduce what I just did.
  • 10/5/07 - I gloat about deducing what they didn't, and in doing so, totally draw my own ridiculous conclusions based on 3 paragraphs of information.
  • 8:30pm - I go to the game at Fenway tonight (told you, I can't help myself).

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